February 2012
mypatronusisyou:
people can talk shit about America all they want but at the end of the day we have Ellen DeGeneres.
fallingintothedenouement:
fallingintothedenouement:
so we had 3 bottles of shampoo and 0 bottles of conditioner
then mum came home excited that she bought ten bottles of conditioner on sale
it turns out she bought shampoo
now we have 13 bottles of shampoo
and 0 bottles of conditioner
here’s another fun little tidbit
the shampoo she bought is for premium blonde to sand dune coloured...
“If you were mine, I’d kiss your ankles and neck and the tip of your nose. I’d...”
– Camryn Pulaski Day (via petalis)
3 tags
1 tag
Bon Iver: And I told you to be patient, and I told you to be fine. I told you to be balanced, and I told you to be kind, but now all your love is wasted. And then who the hell was I?
Death Cab: So one last touch and then you'll go and we'll pretend that it meant something so much more. But it was vile, and it was cheap and you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me. Yeah, you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
Radiohead: But I can't help the feeling I could blow through the ceiling if I just turn and run. And it wears me out... It wears me out. If I could be who you wanted, if I could be who you wanted all the time... all the time.
Brand New: You are calm and reposed, let your beauty unfold. Pale white like the skin stretched over your bones, spring keeps you ever close. You are secondhand smoke, you are so fragile and thin standing trial for your sins. Holding onto yourself the best you can. You are the smell before rain, you are the blood in my veins.
Nicki Minaj: You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, yeah you a you a stupid hoe.You a stupid hoe you a you a stupid hoe. You stupid stupid, you a stupid hoe
“So a dog walks into the forest and he sees a whale and says “aren’t you supposed...”
– A joke told by the Russian exchange student that used to go to my school (via emryses)
lionelandresmessi:
basically all my sentences start with one of these
ok so
basically
omg
no but seriously
actually
ok
wow
ok wow (or wow ok)
wait
but wait
no wait
guys
ihateghostnotingfollow1612th:
in 4th grade there was this girl who had a collection of furbies and one day she brought like 12 in to class and she was sitting in the back licking them and biting their hair off and i asked her what she was doing and she was like “im feeling them enter me” and then she got sent to the office
I said to my girlfriend, "I bet you can't piss me...
most-awkward-moments:
She replied, “Your cock’s bigger than your brother’s.”
